I FAILED!! *Weeeeeeeps*
My attempt at the 30 Day Writing Challenge capped off at 22 sadly. I ended up having a few unfortunate days involving losing my passport and a bit of the fetal position and some overeating. Point is I was distracted and absolutely forgot to write a thing. Which was a weird relief, because I found writing is more enjoyable when I want to do it and not when I’m forced. I guess I’m too weak for the challenge, but I do still want to make an effort to write more. I just want to write stuff I’m interested in. Like….
Why there was no sequel to Disney’s Hercules?
While I guess they technically did make another movie in Hercules: Zero To Hero it was a prequel, straight to video, and looks like it was written on the back of toilet paper during a long shit from a Disney Exec wanting a quick cash grab. So, I’m here to ponder what an actual sequel would look like.
So, let’s recap the ending of Hercules. In the 3rd Act of the flick, it finds Hades tricking Hercules into giving up his God strength for 24 hours in order to set Meg free, in the process it’s promised Meg wouldn’t get hurt. In this he learns that Meg was actually double crossing him to be released from her debt from Hades. However, Meg didn’t account for actually falling in “love” with Hercules. Still during all of this Hercules is mega pussy whipped, and when it’s revealed that Meg is dying (From being crushed by a pillar while saving Hercules) Herc jumps into gear and dives into the Underworld and saves Meg, in the process proving to be a true hero. Then Yadda Yadda Herc and the Gods defeat Hades and the Titans and Herc is granted the ability to become an immortal and live on Olympus with the Gods! He denies the opportunity in order to stay on Earth as a mortal with Meg, then The End. Fin. We are to assume Meg and Herc lived happily ever after.
Now I’m aware that was a rushed synopsis, but hey, it’s a 20 year old movie that anyone born before year 2000 has probably seen a million times. It’s a Disney classic. Shame on you if you haven’t watched it yet. Anyhow, I was curious though as to what happens next?
Let’s think about it. Hades was thrown into the lake of the dead, so he is probably obsolete for a bit. He can’t really die, in that he’s a God, but he will have to fight his way out of a pool of endless souls dragging him down. Which is bleak as fuck for a Disney movie, but whatever. So, now we have to address how are things with Meg and Hercules. Well, it’s kinda hard to tell how they would work as a couple being that they barely met in the movie. They had one actual date and that was enough for Herc to go, “Yup! I’m sold” at the age of 18. Because, you know, 18 year olds always make the best decisions on the dating front being that they’re 18. You know since they are so old and wise *cough cough* And, of course, who wouldn’t fall in love with the adrenaline of saving the world on the line. Of course, young buff Hercules will seem awesome to Meg, especially since he does whatever she wants. She’s already proven she’s manipulative, that’s a character trait she probably won’t grow from.
So, this movie starts off with Hercules and his 5 O’ Clock shadow drowning his sorrows in wine at some bar with Phil. He goes there frequently now as work is scarce, being that Hades is gone. He’s now packed on some weight, since he doesn’t have work or God strength any more he’s really let himself go. Every time he comes home Meg is at ends with him. They fight constantly, and now that he’s lost she’s kind of lost interest in him. While he goes out drinking every night, she goes out and works the street corner of Thebes. They need money to afford rent and her being woman in that era, she’s limited to work. So, now we have a broken marriage and a depressed Hercules all being introduced in the first Act. This all sets up for a fight between Hercules and Meg.
During this fight Hercules reveals he’s madly depressed that he gave up his immortality for her and he’s lost without being God. He says this all in a fit of rage in which sassy Meg belts out, “You were a real man when you were a God. Now look at you. You’re a fat washed up slob!” as she slams the bead curtain leading in there Greek loft and storms out. This sobers Hercules up. While they didn’t get along anymore, that was his wife. He gave Olympus for her. He needed to get her back. As it turns out Meg knew how to get her God back and with that the power that came along with him. She snuck off to the Underworld again. She knew this argument would force Hercules back to the arms of Hades. This all kind of stretched out and set up in the 2nd Act.
So, at this point we have the 1st Act setting up the broken marriage and depression between Hercules and Meg. The 2nd Act playing out with Meg wanting her strong God back and her secretly working with Hades. Then in this 3rd Act Hercules goes to the Underworld to find a broken Hades. Hades reveals that he can restore Hercules former God-like power, but only if he does his bidding. He explains he usually can’t turn mortals to God’s, but since he has the blood of Zeus still in him he can do it, but only if he makes that deal with him. Hercules agrees to it. Immortality is restored with chubby balding Hercules, as is his broken marriage, kind of. Hercules knew Meg was way out of his league and he would do anything to keep her, it’s that Hercules naivety he’s had since he was young. It’s then revealed that Meg’s part of the deal was that she can live forever too, but only if she stays married to Hercules. So, now we have a broken God in Hercules, Meg living forever and having immortality as long as she’s with him (She’s addicted to that power so it’s fine with her. Even if she’s not really in love with him anymore), and them both being minions of Hades. As the movie comes to it’s end Hades closes out with this line, “Now isn’t the time, but the planets will align again and I need things to be set. We can rise the Titans again in year 2017, but only during chaos can the Titans rise. You… You Herc will be my Trump card!” Then roll the credits.