So, yesterday I officiated my first wedding, as Father Brett or Padre Brett as they call me Mexico…Or as they will call me in Mexico, when a don a Lucha mask and preform Lucha Libre themed Mexican weddings…One day!
Anyhow, I did get ordained on one of those cheap no name church websites for like $30 and now I’m official.
But, it was a fun very Non-traditional wedding that I did for my cousin. Hell, the groom and I entered the stage to Europes 80’s classic, “The Final Countdown”… It was pretty fun!
But I did write a little script for it and I haven’t posted anything on here in awhile so I thought I would share it with my peeps. Here it is:
Thank you friends and family that are here to celebrate the union of Michelle and Sam!
This occasion marks the beginning of a marriage and a life of love spent and shared together as they adventure, Sam and Frodo style, through life together… Except with a lot less Orcs and a lot more spooning.
Who gives this bride today?
KEVIN: I do *high fives me*
If there is anyone in attendance who has cause to believe that this couple should not be joined in marriage, you may speak now or forever hold your peace.
Dictionary.com defines wedding as to unite or fuse by hammering, compressing, or the like, especially after rendering soft or pasty by heat, and sometimes with the addition off fusible material like or unlike the pieces to be untied.
So, I think that sums love and marriage up well. Just hammer and compress each other with love? Be our real life Corey and Topanga! But, like the cute Boy Meets World version and not the cheesy cringeworthy Girl Meets World version. *scowls* I sincerely wish and hope for a life of love and laughter for you two. With that lets hear the vows you two have each other..
*Insert your vows here*
Michelle and Sam please join hands
*cute wedding hand holding commences here*
Michelle, do you take Sam as your cherished husband, in front of these witnesses and promise to stay with him through sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?
MICHELLE: I do!
And, Sam, do you take Michelle as your cherished wife, in front of these witnesses and promise to stay with herthrough sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?
These wedding rings, much like the ring of power from Lord Of The Rings, look super rad! But, mainly, symbolize enduring and neverending love. They serve as a means of living long and prospering *Holds up nerdy Star Trek hand symbol* with each other. Remember that..
If you could please repeat after me…
I, Michelle, give you, Sam, this ring as a symbol of enduring love…. *repeat*…. Just as the circle of the ring completes itself, so you complete me *repeat*…..Also, Tom Brady sucks *Repeat*
I, Sam, give you, Michelle, this ring as a symbol of enduring love…. *repeat*…. Just as the circle of the ring completes itself, so you complete me *repeat* …. Also, Tom Brady sucks
Michelle and Sam, by the power vested in me from a website I paid like $50 to get ordained on. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may make the smoochies…
*kissy face stuff here*
Ladies and Gents, I now have the wonderful privilege of presenting to your Mr. and Mrs. Michelle and Sam Hartley!!
This isn’t apart of the script but you should follow me on the Tweet machine: @BeerAndSushi_
Thanks for reading, Nerds.